Two years ago life was quite simple. I was happily single. I had three girls left at home aged 30, 19 and 11 and three other adult children living independently as well as four precious grandchildren. I was running my small bed and breakfast in my home and enjoying being a foster carer, mum and Nanna. I had good friends who were more like family. Life was good, but were they storm clouds on the horizon?
The Good News ~ November 2013 ~ Zoe and Jared were wed
May 2014 ~ Storm Warning, Massive Devastation
I can’t share details here, this is far too public for that, but the “storm” hit quite unexpectedly with a mighty vengeance and my world was turned upside down. Life as I knew it ended, and a whole new world of painful truth descended like a black cloud.
I had been betrayed in the worst possible way, by someone I considered part of my family although they were not a relative. In the midst of this storm I found myself having to stand up for what I believed in more than ever before and the cost was great.
Such a cascade, no an avalanche of painful feelings mixed with old memories raced by and through me, everything I had believed about the person involved now coloured by the facts and under a fresh light, the light of truth and reality. Harsh reality.
I clung to my faith like a baby koala on it’s mother’s back. The path was a rocky one, to say the least. I have always believed implicitly that all things work together for good, but this was a real tough test and at times I wondered if I would pass. I wondered how life could go on, but of course, and thankfully, it did.
Sadly, I lost some friends, dear friends of thirty or more years. That was so hard. I don’t believe it will ever stop hurting. I had to learn the hard way that not everyone wants to know the truth, or thanks you for sharing it with them. In fact some will despise, abuse and reject you for having the sheer audacity to love them so much that you want them to know the truth regardless of the personal cost to me in sharing that with them.
I still don’t understand why God fearing people refuse to accept reality when the evidence is overwhelming and irrefutable. I will leave that with them, cause the truth is the truth even if I stand alone in believing it. Never be afraid to stand alone with the truth, there is strength in trusting God and leaving the people you love in His hands. We cannot change anyone except ourselves and that only by God’s grace and our own willingness to humble ourselves and trust God when we can’t see the way ahead or even if there is a way ahead.
Life Goes On ~ Moving Forward ~ October 2014
When the worst of the storm has passed you can choose to stay stuck in the pain indefinitely or move forward, yes, indeed, propel yourself however unwillingly into the future. Being proactive takes sacrifice, you have to sacrifice the temptation to freeze and be totally immobilised by grief, loss, fear, guilt and pain and choose to have the courage and faith to put one foot in front of the other, forward, always forward. I found my way forward, somehow, and made some big changes in my life in my effort to reclaim the future and have a fresh start.
I sold my home of almost eighteen years, retired from my bed and breakfast business and bought a new home, much smaller and newer only 4kms away.
Life goes on and so here I am, blogging again and looking back at the changes and the choices I have made and marvelling at God’s hand in it all. Without my faith I would no doubt still be stuck under that black cloud without hope but I’m not. I have grown and I have changed and I am stronger for it all. I found courage I never knew I had, and that has to be a good thing. I am thankful for God’s grace and the peace He has given me along with that courage. Most of all I thank Him for giving me hope and showing me a new future. I moved into my new home with just one little one (she’ll be 13 in October) on January 8th 2015. I couldn’t have imagined what He had in store!! Beauty for ashes.....
First came Polly Morwenna
on January 6th 2015
sweet daughter of Josie and Phil and little sister to Bonnie Grace,
my fourth granddaughter!
and then along came George.......
It’s a long and lovely story but here’s the short version. George and I had been friends for a while and on my birthday at the end of March he proposed and I said “yes!”. We are getting married on November 21st this year. Who knew my life would take this marvellous turn? Not me, my classic line when anyone asked me about dating or marrying again was, “no vacancies, not hiring” ;) George changed all that and I couldn’t be happier!!
and then along came.....
Eli Samuel 3rd of June 2015
darling little son of Zoe and Jared,
my second grandson and sixth grandchild! How blessed am I!!!
So I think that’s enough for one blog post after such a long absence. The next post will be soon, I promise ;)
Thanks for being here for me and I know you will understand why I’ve been missing in action for so long.
Love and blessings to you all, till next time..........one day at a time, who knows what tomorrow will bring......