I have come to the conclusion that the most self destructive emotion I can have is self pity.
Realising this has changed my life for the better! I am now also able to see that when someone else is wallowing in self pity, or having a "pity party" as we might jokingly call it, the worst thing I can do is sympathize with them. This just further disables them and plunges them further into that dark place where all hope is lost and fear rules supreme.
I have spent enough time there myself in the past to know it is nowhere I would recommend or mistakenly prolong anyone's journey through it. Sympathy will never help someone climb out of that pit but rather help them dig the hole deeper. It is not loving but misguided to feel sorry for someone who already feels sorry for themselves. (be they child, adult or childish adult)
Self pity is a lonely dark place without any joy. The only way out of that pit is upwards towards the light. It takes self control not to go there and get comfy there. It feels safe and familiar but that is just a deception to keep you there as long as possible. Your perceptions are dulled there, you believe lies about yourself and others, you feel hopeless and yet the truth and reality have not changed. You just "feel" differently there.
I have made a conscious decision not to visit there again. I have made a decision to choose life and to embrace the challenges and joys it brings with it. A new day every morning.
My God is a God of creativity and life. He offers me a life filled with light and hope. He has made it so. He enables me. I am ever thankful.
